disappointed

I am really disappointed with myself. i was hoping that i'd be able to post at least a picture a day to keep me on my toes creatively.
obviously, i haven't.
i'm going to try and jump start the process again. hopefully, i'll be able to keep at it.
some other stuff: Nepal is in the news again. this is in regards to the indian doctor heading the illegal kidney-snatching trade. after they initially reported that he was arrested in Nepal, I was just hoping that he wouldn't get away. with nepal, it's not too far-fetched for something like that to happen.
talking about this kidney-snatching business, i guess it's a matter of supply and demand. i can understand why people would be willing to sacrifice a kidney to better their lives and those of their families. desperate times call for desperate measures.
but this doctor wasn't providing a service to desperate people who had no other way of coming up with money, he was stealing from people who weren't even interested in selling their organs.
I had heard stories of people waking up in bathtubs of ice, with stitches on their sides and backs. It was possible, but would it really happen? Does it really happen?
I always believed that these were just stories to scare you!!I was so wrong!!
So, whatever sentence this guy gets will not be enough. They should forcefully remove one of his kidneys too. And then donate it to whoever cannot afford a transplant.

after the poem

"you haven't been around."
-did you even read my last post? who would want to be seen after that!

"why? are you embarrassed?"
-uh...actually i was quoting somebody else.

"it wasn't too bad."
-ya right! you call that poetry?

"why don't you just delete the post then?"
-c'mon, where's the fun if you can't ridicule yourself and have a good laugh?

"safe to say we won't be reading anymore of your poetic masterpieces?"
-are you kidding me?i can't wait to write the next one.

falling asleep

words
thoughts
fade
into the blackness of my eyes
and all i can hear is the
tick
tick
tick
of
the clock
on
a distant wall.
s l e e p
s l e e p
tonight
i
will
not
be counting sheep.

DAY 12

and just like that, it's been 12 days since i quit smoking. yes, even i find that hard to believe.
the only thing is that i slipped a few times. on 3 separate occasions, i gave in and lit up.
the last time was when i had a beer on sunday. i was watching the patriots/chargers game in a bar (what was i thinking, right?) and brady threw his 3rd interception. i could just see their perfect season go up in smoke...SMOKE??...and suddenly, i had this excruciating craving. i just had to have one.
now, bumming cigarettes off your friends is one thing, asking a stranger for a smoke is a totally different scenario. it's something that i just hate when people do it to me...but, i sucked it up...
anyway, the bright side of this story is that, after all that, i didn't enjoy the cigaretter at all. not then, not the two times before that. all i had were a few puffs, and i was done.
just 3 cigarettes in 12 days may not sound as much, but i'm looking at it as a minor accomplishment. i have to say that i'm proud of myself.
now if i could just stay off the crack!

dunkin donuts

They just opened the first Dunkin Donuts here. And i was ecstatic. i hadn't had good coffee in a while so i absolutely had to stop and get myself a cup. it had been over 8 months.
hmmm.
it made my day. (see, it doesn't take much)

staying focused

i really like this one. it's just got this dreamy feel to it.

grrr.

just thought i'd take a picture to express how i feel today.